Do You Think that You or Someone You Know Is Having a MidLife Crisis?
Imagine if you found yourself overwhelmed with indecision or if you just felt like something major was missing from your life?
You know you SHOULD be happy, but you just don’t FEEL right!
Those are just two of the typical feelings described by people when they are having the experience of being ‘out of sorts’ and this can happy at any age.
Why is it often referred to as a midlife crisis?
Well for one thing, according to urban myth, this kind of scenario often rears its head around the time we would expect to be about the middle of our lives – typically it’s between the ages of 40 to 60. It’s not always about our age, sometimes that’s just coincidental, but the middle of our life is often when we reflect on how we’re going and may have the sense that we’ve somehow missed out on what might have been.
Sometimes we, or perhaps family or friends, compare us with some kind of unrealistic notion of the person or the success story that we aspired to be. That feeling of falling short of expectations can lead to a general sense of dissatisfaction with life.
We may feel as if pieces of our life puzzle are missing, but we often don’t know which ones exactly!
That may cause us to become paralysed with indecision.
It’s where having someone you trust as a sounding board can really help.
What if I feel like that at a different age?
I prefer to think in terms of life disturbances, where things haven't gone to plan.
If it's a major upset, then I prefer author, Bruce Feiler's term of a 'Lifequake' - a significant event that has impacted on your life.
(Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at freedigitalphotos.net)
Warning Signs of a 'So-Called' Midlife Crisis
You’ve probably heard gossip around a barbecue with friends, such as:
- “He’s bought himself a Harley Davidson and run off with a younger woman!”
- “She’s dyed her her purple and gone all zen on us!”
- “He had a break down at work. They found him sitting on the floor of his office with his hands on his head.”
- “She quit her perfectly good job and is off travelling to Byron Bay!”
These are what you might call fairly obvious examples that the person is dealing with some kind of change in their life or their business and they are struggling to cope with it.
Imagine if you had a midlife crisis though or even worse, a fully fledged nervous breakdown and… nobody noticed!
Here's an extract from an article on the topic from https://www.forbes.com/health/mind/midlife-crisis/
“A midlife crisis is a period or phase of life transition when a person begins to question the things that they have accomplished or achieved and whether those same things still provide a sense of fulfillment and meaning,” says Michael G. Wetter, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist practicing in Los Angeles. If not, a person may begin to question what can bring meaning and fulfillment to the later part of their life that may be missing or unexplored, he adds.
This questioning may lead to an abrupt change in occupation, commitment to relationships or hobby exploration, says Dr. Wetter, but it may also include more impulsive behaviors and actions, such as risky spending habits and health concerns.
However, the changing perspective and attention to mortality that occurs during a midlife crisis doesn’t always manifest in negative symptoms and may instead lead to a more concentrated effort and devotion to family or a stronger desire to focus less on work and more on living, says Dr. Wetter.
“While there is no one common sign, more often than not, it represents a shift in perspective relative to one’s self-image and engagement in life,” he adds.
Consequences
Whether you run your own business or you're working 'for the man', this kind of affected mindset could seriously jeopardise your chances of success in life.
It can often be caused by:
- The realisation that the business and/or you are in real trouble
- The feeling that you really hate what you are doing
- A traumatic event - loss of a loved one, assault, legal battle etc
- A relationship break up - significant other, business partner etc.
- Onset of a spiral into clinical depression
I’m sure you’d agree that these kind of situations would affect many of us, just to a different degree, depending on our coping mechanisms.
So, if you feel stuck or overwhelmed, or you know someone who does, what can you do about it?
Maybe I Can Help?
This is where it’s time for my disclaimer…
I’m not a psychotherapist, a psychoanalyst, a psychologist, psychiatrist or a doctor. If you need one of those, then I’m not your guy. That said, a midlife crisis is not officially a medical condition, more of an attempt to pigeon-hole a state of mind that may lead to unusual behaviour.
Nevertheless, what I AM is a certified coach and an NLP Master Practitioner and certified NLP Trainer, with over 44 years experience of managing people and a great interest in personal and professional development.
I owned and operated a backpackers hostel accommodation business for over fourteen years, where I helped people to deal with almost every kind of issue imaginable over a beer in the back garden of an evening.
I have also been through several crises myself and I had to dig deep within myself to cope with what seemed like a huge amount of pressure. So I understand what it can feel like.
The difference between someone who is mentally ill (needs professional help), clinically depressed (may need medication to cure a chemical imbalance) and someone who is ‘feeling depressed’ is significant.
The words, “I feel stressed” or “I’m so depressed” have become so much a part of our everyday language that they are frequently bandied around to explain away what may just be a bad day at the office.
In many cases, those who are overwhelmed, struggling to deal with business challenges or life problems or just feeling unhappy, often have a distinct lack of PURPOSE.
I have found that with many of my clients or former tourism customers, they were at a crossroads and didn’t know which direction to take.
My skill set and business experience mean that I can often help people to gain clarity about what they really want, just by asking better questions – questions that I have either been trained to ask, or that just pop into my head seemingly instinctively, but which are probably the legacy of years of commitment to personal development through books, recordings and seminars.
This has allowed me to develop my own strategic solutions system to help people face change, to work out a viable plan and to actually tackle those challenges and move forwards in business and in life. I call it simply ‘The Inman System’.
If you’d like to gain some clarity about your business and/or your life, then together devise a workable plan for you to follow, please leave me a message, either using the website contact form or by leaving a message on 0419 860 382.
I have helped many other people. I’d be delighted if I could help you or your friend in need.
