If you want a lesson in making your life count for something, then try writing and delivering a eulogy.
It’s not my intention to darken your day – in fact, read on and I hope you’ll find my message will have the opposite effect. Nevertheless, only three weeks ago, I had to do exactly that, at my own Father’s funeral.

Raymond Inman, known by his preferred name of Bill, passed away three weeks after his 90th birthday and eight months after his 70th wedding anniversary.

It’s the second eulogy I’ve spoken – the former was at the funeral of my girlfriend’s father, Alan Small, who passed away aged 73 in June last year.
On both of these occasions, I realised for me that the legacy you leave behind consists of three things:

The Legacy You Leave Behind
1.    Your Family – It took the passing of my Father for me to realise what a loving, caring bunch of people my family actually were, because like so many families these days, we have allowed our busy lives to get in the way. My siblings and I have all devoted our careers to service-providing industries. Our children have all done the same.

Take-away: Think about the role model you want to be.
2.    Your Relationships – In both cases, I was staggered at how many people either turned up to pay their respects, or took the trouble to send their condolences.
Take-away: Think less about what you want from others, and think more about what you can give.
3.    Your Experiences – Kevin Costner (famous actor) said in an interview that ‘A man’s life is the sum of his experiences’. Well both of our fathers lived incredible lives, travelling the world and living their dreams, while they quietly got on with their work and provided for their families.
Take-away: Don’t live a settle-for life – design your life the way you want it to be.

 

In my eulogy for my Dad, I quoted Dr Wayne Dyer (famous inspirational author and speaker)…
‘We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, rather we are spiritual beings having a human experience’.

I have recently studied quantum physics with Dr John DeMartini and Hawaiian spiritual Huna teachings with Dr Serge Kahili King, and I find a common theme in the belief that we are all connected – to each other and to Planet Earth and all of its creatures.

We are also all made up of goodness and badness, lightness and darkness. In fact, things are neither one nor the other, unless we make them so.

Tony Robbins (famous inspirational author and speaker) says, ‘Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning we give it. If you don’t like the way you feel, choose to create a new meaning.’

When all’s said and done, one day we will all transform from our physical form into whatever you believe comes next for you.

I’m reminded of the stirring words of the Scottish warrior, William Wallace, in the movie ‘Braveheart’ – ‘Every man dies; not every man really lives’.

Our two fathers really lived.

So, I ask you sincerely, think about what you stand for, whom and what you are passionate about and what meaning you would like your life to have for those who follow and care about you.

Don’t sweat the small stuff, be glad that you have another day on this Earth, another day to influence the people with whom you connect, smile more often and seize your day.

Until next time we meet, make it count.

Tony Inman